Hulk Hogan Shaving Mustache, Making Angels Die

Hulk Hogan’s trademark mustache might come to an end. Hogan is planning to shave the classic handlebar for an upcoming movie. "I’m getting ready to go on some auditions," Hogan said. "I’m getting ready to shave my head and my mustache. So that should be scary.” The leader of the American Mustache Institute, Dr. Aaron Perlut is extremely upset over the news, telling TMZ, "Not only would the removal of his lower nose foliage cause angels in heaven to die and fall to earth – as is written in biblical texts – but it would send a poor message to young people of Mustached American descent who wish to embrace the Mustached American experience." He added, "We do hope that Mr. Hogan, for whom we have great reverence, reconsiders shaving his upper lip shading device as millions of those he has inspired would be greatly let down, leading to mass chaos and deep bouts of depression in the Mustached American community.”